I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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