I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need moral support for this bender
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
