My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
