dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Pooping to opera.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
