Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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