Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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