A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
