How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
