you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
