Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
