mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
