Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
