It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize