yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
COCAINE IS GR8
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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