how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
