Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
