i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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