Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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