Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
