Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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