He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
