ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize