its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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