I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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