My friends, they love my intelligence
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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