Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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