she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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