Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
