spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
