yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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