Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
