Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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