Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park

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(417): View more from Missouri

Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.

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(559): View more from California

I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas

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(515): View more from Iowa

I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?

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(775): View more from Nevada

This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up

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(416): View more from Toronto

FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.

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