batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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