is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
