Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm so fucking centered right now
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
