He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
