last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
