Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So apparently I’m into choking now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize