Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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