you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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