We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
