he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
3pm strippers are depressing
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
