you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
