i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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