Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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