Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
