How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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