It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
