Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
