He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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