i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
