she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
