I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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