i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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