His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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