Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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