Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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