so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
