I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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