So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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