It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Barsexuality is the new black.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
