we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
