I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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