a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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