it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
